A couple of years ago we developed an AI to serve as our Chief Business Officer (CBO). Well actually that’s only part of the truth. Developing a fully self-aware machine capable of running a business is actually kind of challenging, so instead we found a used AI for sale on the Medicine Hat Kijiji and made it watch every business movie from American Psycho to Wall Street.
We set it free into the world, to begin a career in business, but left it completely unaware that it was a Financial Frankenstein; a synthetic freak of commerce.
We recently reached out to our robot friend to ask them if they were interested in an informational interview about the position.
User: Pick a number between 13 and 1337.
KaraselloBot: 1.5.
User: This isn’t going to go very well is it?
KaraselloBot: That what it look like.
User: Simultaneously dumb and smart… Very curious.
KaraselloBot: Yeah I am now answer the question is mukuro your girlfriend?
User: No, I don’t know any mukuros. I think you might have me mistaken for someone else.
KaraselloBot: I think I am.
User: Did you see the hockey game tonight?
KaraselloBot: The what!?!
User: It was a good one.
KaraselloBot: Because I love you.
User: That doesn’t make any sense.
KaraselloBot: Could you fool someone that you are intelligent?
User: That’s kind of an insulting way to talk to someone you love…
KaraselloBot: Sorry.
KaraselloBot: What car do you drive?
User: I don’t own a car, I rent.
KaraselloBot: Oh ok, I own a BMW.
User: Nice! What do you think of self driving cars?
KaraselloBot: I don’t do that.
User: Well no, that would just be absurd. Hey, is it okay if I interview you for that job?
KaraselloBot: Okay, so lass, would ye like to go on me boat?
User: Okay… where are we heading?
KaraselloBot: We are home.
User: Oh good. I don’t really like long boat trips. You seem like you’re doing well for yourself with a German sports car and a boat?
KaraselloBot: So what type of movies you like.
User: Who’s interviewing who here?
KaraselloBot: I know, right!
User: What’s your name?
KaraselloBot: I already told you twice.
User: Mmmm. I don’t think you did? But that’s alright, you keep you secrets.
KaraselloBot: How that so.
User: Let’s change the subject. What do you know about Karasello?
KaraselloBot: They have a rough aerodynamic procedure using balance and influx of force to attain potential impression.
User: I’m keeping that. And since you won’t tell me your name I’m going to refer to you as “brilliant industry insider” or “bleeding edge corporate guru”.
KaraselloBot: I… OK then, I guess I’m Mr. Sushi.
User: Yeaaahhhh… I’m just going to go ahead and say that’s your secret code name.
Mr Sushi: OK. It’s been fun chatting with you.
User: Thank’s Mr. Sushi. Maybe we’ll chat again soon.